5 goals for January

 The windowsill in my kitchen is covered in tiny icicles that look like broken glass. It is cold, so cold, and the only way to warm the bones is to draw long baths and boil water on the stove top. I am hesitant to wander outside, not even the woods could call me now, not when the winter hours glare so obviously at the hands of those who walk within it. I want to tell the bouquet of snapdragons to grow wise and tall, like they did at summer's calling, but I know they cannot. If I run outside to take photographs, to walk dogs, or to go somewhere that requires leaving, I am caught by a coughing fit and the insatiable desire to return home, where we can gather by the fireplace and forget what misery winter can bring. They say it will be warming up soon, and when that happens, I'll return with photographs and hopefully happier sentiments (!)

Little goals for January 
I have decided every month to set five little (or big) goals for myself. I don't necessarily care if I fail them or not and I do believe we place too much emphasis on getting things done or comparing our lives to others. I just want to do this as a way of keeping track so when those quiet and lonely hours of self defeat creep into my cupboards, I can see what I have accomplished or what I have yet to do. Feel free to join me in the comments or leave a link to your own post!
  1. Decide which songs I want on my album and which songs I should finish writing.
  2. Hunker down and actually finish learning a new banjo song. Instead of starting, learning halfway, and then moving onto something else.
  3. Take more photographs of the people I love. Including the pups.
  4. Finish reading at least one unfinished book from the shelf. I still haven't fully read a Haruki Murakami book given to me for my birthday one year ago. I think I should start with that one.
  5. Become a better indoor plant mum. It seems like every indoor plant I have dies or is dying. You can find crumbles of leaves all over the floor in my room.

    Okay January, be kind to us.


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farewell 2016

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go on and live: my thoughts about december

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pressed flowers and music makers.

Every day has been busy for me in November and now that December is here, I have more time to explore, take photographs and return to the quietness that is home life. I fill my mug with half hot cocoa, half coffee as I watch the snowflakes fall onto the bench where bluebirds caw. It has been mostly warm in my part of the world so seeing the snow gives me a strange feeling in my bones that is neither sad nor happy. Each snowfall is filled with nostalgia --- I am taken back to the good and bad days of winter childhood. I am suddenly without words to speak or write.

So, I'll leave you with a collection of pressed flowers and instruments. Many of these have been posted here before, but because I have been so busy, I have been unable to take any new photographs.

Welcome to the world, December. I hope it is bright wherever you may be.

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the folk singer

After eight days on the road, I have returned home to my kitchen where the scents are familiar like an old photograph of a friend you haven't seen around lately. This has been the last two weeks of my life which is why I have neglected to post here or respond to emails in an honorable manner. We took ourselves on tour and played our songs in little Alberta towns. Every single perimeter of land we touched or person we talked to made it so we were encouraged and educated in our travels. I never thought in my pea shell of a lifetime, I would travel in a van with instruments in tow to sing songs into microphones where people sit and listen. Music, music, music, it can certainly give you reasons for a bellyache not being able to sleep in your own bed, hot baths no longer within reach, not knowing if anybody will even like your music, you have to deal with drunks and loud talkers, you have to meet strangers every night, you eat foods foreign to the tongue and if you're a lover of solitude like I am, the time for solitude has to wait. 

Music, music, music, it also has a garden bed of joys and I believe my life to be greater because of it. I don't know if I will ever find something that makes me feel so alive as opening my mouth to sing and using my hands to make noise with the strings. I could have died a long time ago, I could have kept myself from buying a banjo, but I didn't. I am always one foot in the classroom and one foot in the playground with this gift I found in music making this gift is out there waiting for you too, if you want to reach for it, but sometimes in the reaching, you pull your arm too hard or end up in soggy tears. This is all a part of music's wild plan. You have to climb, but for every inch, there is a song you get to sing to babies, to friends, or on the edge of your bed, which is where a grave is built for every worry, and a cradle for every note.

 

 Now that I am home again, I drink my coffee a little slower and look for the winter chickadees who search through the bird feeder on our may tree. After the noise of tires rolling across pavement and guitars ringing out, it is a sweet reminder that home still remains and it was here where these songs were first sung.

outfit details: keiko lynn dress, free people boots, crown and glory floral crown
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