I think I'm living a fairytale. Everything that's happening, to me, to the world around me, to the people around me, it's beautiful. I've always felt that I was in a constant metamorphosis. My heart beat for a change. Now, the transition feels almost complete. I have many lives to live, many more people to become, many more kisses to give, but something in me tells me that I have found my self. I have found the desire. I have found the love. I have found the life in me.
I love my life. All the struggle, all the empty stars, all the broken days, they all shape me in ways, Happiness, and simpleton living do not. I realize, I am happiest after deep despair. After facing a sadness, after overcoming a pain, I become the happiest person on my planet. This optimism that's shining through me, has strayed before, but I'm trying to hold onto and keep it fed for as long as I can.
I want to keep my feelings. Even the bad ones. Life would be too long if I never felt the rhythm of sorrow, the triumph of a smile. Wouldn't you rather feel aching, than feel numb??
I think I can become something great. I haven't taken a slice of humble, or pride pie.. but my conscience has grown to believe I was made to be something. In ten years, I will not be sitting in an office, or driving in a car I hate, or coming home to an empty house. I will be stirring the pot of wealth. The pot of love, desire, satisfaction, the pot of dreams.
Sometimes the thoughts in me, flutter like butterflies, in the pit of my stomach, and leave me with a depth like an ocean. Sometimes, the thoughts in me, run dry like mother earth, and leave me simple. I think it works like this. When I want to be deep, when I want to really feel my existence, I can. I bring myself to a place of questioning, analyzing, thinking. When I want to feel simple, I close my eyes, and think about my day. It's hard to not feel depth, when the love of your life, thinks like the Atlantic ocean.... :)
The loves of my life. There are few. But my love for them grows. Those who have stood by my stride, and took my palm in aching weather. Those who have labored me, painted me, kissed my forehead when I was ill. Those who whispered sweet nothings, and loved me when I was unloving. This post is for you. Without your touch, your paint, your feeling, I'd be empty. I'd be alone in my head, forever. With you to guide me to my star, to fly me to my galaxy, to help me when I was helpless, I will never be lonely. I have my sky. I have my storm. I have my boat. I have my sea. The love I have for you is, immeasurable. I thank you. My life is for you.
Dear blog lovers, and readers, and sweethearts. Life is busy. And tiring. And lovely. I know last year at this time, I posted every second day. Lately, I find the clock running out of time for you, and it leaves me sad. I think about you constantly, and how the strings of my heart grow for you too. I want a guarantee, not a promise, to post for you every week. And with New Years resolutions, I am going to do just that. I am going to dress everyday. I am going to be here to thank you, and share sweet nothings. I will post until I annoy you. I will post until you grow tired of me. (Please don't grow tired of me...)
My love is beating for the world. My eyes are growing for this life. Kiss the sky.