if i were a mermaid, then he was the sea
this is my (long overdue) mother's day post. mothers day is the day to honor motherhood. i think everyday is a day for our mothers. they created us, and continue in their teachings, and allow us to become better mothers ourselves. we should always hold our mothers. a day of the year is not enough to show how much appreciation they deserve. they are the reason for our existence. this year, mothers day was special. more special than last year. we live in a new city, with new heads. me and my mom took an adventure to art central, indulged in a four course (GOURMET!) meal courtesy of the bistro. then we galloped like horses into the art shops, and caught ourselves in giggles. lovely!
how I love my mother. and how along with music and melody, she is my escape. when i am tempered with the storms of head and of heart, she sits there to sooth. i am blessed.
there are daily mountains. mountains of beauty that sit by your window. and the darkened mountains which domicile in your head. every day, i find myself, seeking.... sometimes, shutting my eye lids to see something else. always wanting to refine who i am. it's as though, some days i'm following a map, anticipating my destination, and some days i'm just lost..
"I want to taste dark water and see crackling trees and wild winds. "
"Never say you know the last word about any human heart. "
in my head, theres a day. a day where a hummingbird lands onto my shoulders and whispers the secrets. secrets of life. my old friends always tackled me as being "too deep".. maybe I am. (I think they were too simple)... Depth is beauty. Why do we love the ocean so? It's because it's complex, with depth, and mystery, just like you or I. Why do we love the mountains so? Because they represent what we will become, what we should be, mighty and bold. Why do we love the stars so? They illustrate how tiny we are, how our seconds are seconds, and our problems are small.
I want to be good. I want to treat love well, and pour kindness into strangers. I want to be the smile that lays down with you when you sleep. I want to be the reason for the flush in your skin!
I'm alive. I don't need a sweater. The goose bumps sing to me, showing me how very alive I am. I feel. I'm real. and now I yawn.
Mothers day! What better day to dance around in a pretty heart-painted H&M dress. Each heart is for you! and you! and you! Hope it's sunny where you are... xoxo love always.
"The unreal is more powerful than the real, because nothing is as perfect as you can imagine it. because its only intangible ideas, concepts, beliefs, fantasies that last. stone crumbles. wood rots. people, well, they die. but things as fragile as a thought, a dream, a legend, they can go on and on."
p.s
tomorrow's the launch of a new website where you get the dream fashion job of being the designer and buyer of the brand, sway.. lovely perla sent me the moodboard for the site, and it's full of dreamy dresses and pretty colors. (stuff my dreams are made of)... www.sway.com be there tomorrow :)
there are landscapes. there are flowers. there are dancing fairies.
there is tea on my stove, and honey on my shelf. the wind is tickling my hair. and a cat sits by my feet. i'm carrying with me the good things we know.
As most of you know, a couple of weeks ago I took a trip to Vancouver Island. It's one of the few places in the world, where magic doesn't only exist in your mind. Magic is everywhere here. In the flowing trees, and streams. In the sand, and cherry blossom trees. Look close enough to the dirt, and it even seems to sparkle.
I think we all have those places where we feel like a cocoon. We feel like we're limiting our growth, and stuck in a shell. I also think, we all have those special places, where we shake, and grow wings. No longer in a cocoon, but a metamorphosis, now a butterfly. What better way to celebrate freedom, then wearing a flower dress and dancing on the waters of Vancouver Island?
Don't feel sad. Go outside, and ignite your senses with the smell of outdoors. Sometime's I've fallen blue, or tired, or dull-feeling, but the second I step outside, regardless of the brightness of the sun, I am awakened. If I could live outside, I would. Would you?
As I sit here, eyes shut, pretending I'm still Vancouver bound. I'll pretend the following picture is a post card, and all thats written is, "the weather here is beautiful, wish you were here beautiful"......
I've fallen in love with cherry blossom trees, and if you send a genie my way, I'll wish for a cherry tree in the center of my bedroom. How beautiful would it be to awake to pink petals all over the sheets on which you sleep?... Dream on.
dress- good will $5
dress- good will $5
tights- bestey johnson, xmas.
boots- value village $15
Sweet day dreams to you, and kisses to your friends.
xoxoxo
p.s
follow me on twitter
Hello precious beings. March ends, and I am glad. All month I've been at war. Rapid thoughts float like rapid waters through my head. I've needed a place to belong. Every shower, too cold. Every light, too bright. Every emotion, too strong. There was a stranger in the mirror, with an empty drawn out face. I forgot who I was. The only thing March brought me was tiredness, and an unsettling battle of heart vs head. fight vs fear. stay vs go. love vs hate. Why have I felt this? Has the absence of time brought me to the flaws of youth? Inhaling was much harder than exhaling. I am glad it's over. over. over.
I think I think too much.
I seek too much.
I desire discovery too much.
"It’s all imaginary anyway. That’s why it’s important. People only fight over imaginary things."
People throw pennies in wishing wells, and tie their hands to pray. They wish for things. They wish for an existence they don't have. They wish for meaning. Sometimes I wish I was simple. I wish my thought patterns swam in a sea of consistency. I am tired of being in a metamorphosis. I am sick of tiring myself with worry. My body is attached to my brain. Is it possible to detach my spirit from my brain? If only I could, I would be free. How do we free ourselves from our selves?
Life is a sequence of puzzles. We're always solving, only to discover an incomplete puzzle. I've always wondered if old age, and old wisdom, will bring me those missing pieces.
We are humans. We touch, and we feel. We're allowed gray days, where the sun forgets to shine. We're allowed moments of weakness. I just hope my in my life, I will learn to keep those graying days from turning into fragile weeks. There is too much spirit in me to keep myself sad!
Josh Brolin, and the sound of violin strings lighten my t.v, and suddenly, somehow, things are okay. The weather is nice. My eyes, and legs desire to explore... but there's a room in my house that needs cleaning, and a suitcase on my bed that needs packing.
"
…so i fight for her. it is what lovers do. there is no dichotomy: lover or fighter? it is lover/fighter both. i fought to get her, so i fight to keep her while i’m with her. i do not understand those who fight only to get back what they have lost. you should have been fighting all along."
I'm going on a trip tomorrow. I'm going to a home, where a large fraction of my heart belongs. It will be nice to relish in freedom, and fun. No worries, no clouds, just bliss. Happpy easter !
dress/ topshop $12
tights/ H&M $14
knee highs/ the bay $4
shoesies/ winners $50
headband/ nyc flea market $12
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