teddy bear fur, and patches of blue

From floral patches of blue, and singing songs into the night, I come to you.
I fell asleep holding onto my teddy bear named tangerine. I awoke, and I felt so young. I truly truly believe that teddies are the way. When I was just a girl with a body of bones, and two little feet, I fell in love with a teddy named Rusty.  In the darkness, he was pink. By the sun, he blushed red.  He was my friend, and my cuddling companion.  When my eyes rained over spilled milk, he had a place for my tears. In my imaginary head, he was just as real as you or I.                  As life passed, I began drinking milk instead of spilling it. My conscience became my teddy.   I realized Rusty's thoughts were my own, and that I didn't need a scruffy teddy of the finest blush to tell me them.

  I still have a deep love for my teddies. I cuddle them when I can, but the truth is,  my teddy is no longer fur and beads. My teddy is flesh and bones.  The one I cuddle now is an imaginative & kind human being who rocks by my side.

I don't think one can ever be too old to hold the soft of a teddy.  

 Hello snow of Saturday. 
Today, I'm going to eat cheese on 17th avenue,  bond with a love, write a song about it, and fashion an outfit for tomorrow. Tomorrow is a day brimming with goodness.

Sunday will come. 
I will arise early in the morning, cleanse my skin with water, drink a cup of coffee, and dress for the Wolford Stocking fashion show.   My darling friend Adelaide is my date, and I can't wait to spend the day ogling over tights, and colors, and delights.  Then we'll eat lunch, and talk about the things in life that make us happy, and the things in life that make us sad.

 Tomorrow evening will come.
I'll add glitter to my eyes, wedges on my feet, and a fitted red dress.
I'm going to the Rufus Wainwright concert, (two free tickets!!) courtesy of CKUA radio.  
Me and Momma can't wait.

 So much bliss in one day, I don't know how to take it! 
Maybe I'll just scream weeeeooo at the top of my lungs.

I am feeling lighter. Life is brimming with MAGIC.
The empty cup of memories I never seemed to fill,
is now spilling.

A week went by, and everyday was golden. 
I sang, I ate, I saw new faces, met new names, I walked by city lights, I connected.

 Tomorrow brings Adelaide, Fashion show,  Kensington avenue, and Rufus!
I'm tickled from head to toe in whimsy. 
I've got nothing to worry about, so I worry about nothing.

 "If I should buy jellybeans
have to eat them all in just one sitting
everything it seems I like's a little bit sweeter
a little bit fatter
a little bit harmful for me"

"Your skin is cold
But the sun shines within your hold
Your hair is gold
But you see through a goldfish bowl"

May goodness come your way,
and sweetness fill your cup.
Happy Weekend everyone!

xo love always ox

 what I wore:
H&M wedges- value village $5
Floral dress- Beacons Closet NYC $7
Faux Fur Jacket- value village $10 

november 26

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Princess Edane... heard a voice singing on a May Eve like this, and followed half awake and half asleep, until she came into the Land of Faery, where nobody gets old and godly and grave, where nobody gets old and crafty and wise, where nobody gets old and bitter of tongue.

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A lady, with whom I was riding in the forest, said to me, that the woods always seemed to her to wait, as if the genii who inhabit them suspended their deeds until the wayfarer has passed onward: a thought which poetry has celebrated in the dance of the fairies, which breaks off on the approach of human feet. 

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Blind folk see the fairies.
Oh, better far than we,
Who miss the shining of their wings
Because our eyes are filled with things
We do not wish to see.

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The two hemispheres of my mind were in sharpest contrast. On one side a many-islanded sea of poetry and myth; on the other a glib and shallow rationalism. Nearly all that I loved I believed to be imaginary; nearly all I believed to be real I thought grim and meaningless.

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One way can be learned by starting to see the magic in everything.
Sometimes it seems to be hiding but it is always there.
The more we can see the magic in one thing, a tiny flower, a mango, someone we love, then the more we are able to see the magic in everything and in everyone.
Where does the mango stop and the sky begin?

survive one more circle around the sun

Morning has broken, and it's always too cold in this house.   Even whilst bundled in wool,cotton,and blankets, I am still far too frozen.  If only I could have a warm bath, and not have to endure the nipping air while drying my body,  I surely would.

My outfits are met with great difficulty at winter's door.  When the frost hits my cheeks, and blossoms them red,  all I want to do is cuddle in furs, legwarmers, and big suede boots.

 "When all is said and done, the weather and love are the two elements about which one can never be sure."

I'm eating Christmas oranges and dreaming of December 13. When December 13th knocks on my door, I'll be sipping wine legally, and no longer in the cage of youth.  It'll be my birthday!  

I grew up wishing I was a summer baby.  It was the wish to be born into the warmest of the four temperate seasons. I imagined being barefoot on the moss, chasing butterflies with a net, opening gifts by the flowers
 I  thought of friends at the park, playing tag, painting with chalk,
instead, I've been stuck by icy windows while my cake sits in the snow instead of the freezer

I'm a winter's baby, and I don't mind. I have two Christmas's in one month.  Most years, my birthday is just a birthday. I adore my gifts, and the idea of "me" day, but it's always felt a bit too vain.

This year is different.  I'm reaching my dream age. I'm becoming what I've wanted to be.  My hopes are for celebration of life, growth, and new beginnings!
How shall I celebrate this life, this growth, these new beginnings?..... I'm thinking copious amounts of wine, cheese platters, carrot cake, and good time lovers by my side.

  I have made an oath to myself. No more spending until my birthday arrives..... But Last week, Value village had their 50% off day.

It's the day, this thrift-thirsty girl will never miss.  It's a time where every rack of vintage glory is inexpensive, and irresistible.     As I paraded through the aisles of people, I filled my heart with patience, and filled my cart with beauty.  My cart was fed fancy lace, blazers, knits, hats, shoes, and frocks.    One of the garments I spotted was this brown skirt, and it was $3. 
I'm starry-eyed.

I'm crossing my fingers. I'm signing papers in my mind. "No more shopping until my birthday"..... No matter how beautiful winter catalogs look, or how inspired I am to feed my closet.  No more.

I can wait 20-something days, can't I?

Much love from me-to you
Thanks for reading,
sending sweetness your way~

-What I'm wearing-
skirt value village $4
blouse value village $2
socks betsey johnson $11
booties the bay $80

You wonder as you see the snow kiss the curb.

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Friday morning brings chilly air. The snowfall of yesterday brought icy roads.   The car tires dream of dirt, and I'm dreaming of the cayman islands. If only I could attach my wrists to a balloon, or put my feet on a sailboat, I'd be away from the snow, and closer to me.  Today, I am restless, and longing. I keep counting on other people's fingers, and I've forgotten that life is a series of drifting((aimless wandering from place to place)) before destination.

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  Some days, I feel like a celestial body visible from earth at night,  my inner workings rise with the stars.
Other days, I feel like I'm "just a brain equipped with a transportation unit"
I need to rise above the worries, and I need to remind myself
It's okay to drift through days. It's okay to be a little broken, a little unsure, a little sad,
One day, the drifting will end and I will arrive. 

While I'm awaiting arrival, I'll be drinking mocha's, chasing sleep, and wearing bows. 
I'm thinking positive thoughts(sunlight music love memory), and I'm feeding my mind with good feelings.
I'm imagining places of travel, and social gatherings to be had.
There's music to be heard,  there's tambourines to be shaken !!

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My toes need fire, and my lips need cherry balm, but I think the porcelain snow is beautiful. There's something majestic about white crystals of frozen water covering the ground. I could spend time wishing for the tropics, and summer scents, but I wouldn't know Summer if it wasn't for Winter.

I wouldn't know living if it wasn't for drifting.
I wouldn't know blue skies if it weren't for gray.
I wouldn't appreciate the apple tree if it weren't for it's dormancy. 

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So I'm out in the snow, I won't be losing my mind.  Just losing the heat of my body. I'm going to be happy. My lips will continue to love mocha's. My eyes will continue to love bearded boys. My feet will continue to jive. And my hair will continue to grow.

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"Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it."
- Groucho Marx

Thanks for reading my lovelies,

Kisses !!
bow; claires $1
faux fur; blue notes $20
dress; china town $33
brown boots; the bay $80
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