My life in photographs

Here are some photographs from my August – the month where the sunsets are golden and spirited like a poem about love. I had a relatively happy August, some moments of sadness sunk into my bones, but nothing like the sadness I feel today. I don't know what happens to me when the seasons change but suddenly I turn into a turtle without its shell. I start wondering too much and feeling like my home is not where I am. I start looking through windowsills as if they are windows to a faraway world, a world I cannot touch or belong to.

Maybe I feel this way because summer is just another word for promises. When the calendar turns from August to September, you start to remember all of the dreams and plans you made for your summer, but you feel as if you were only chasing the tail of a wild hound. Summer puts on running shoes and before you can fulfil the desire of following dandelion orbs, going on picnics, blowing bubbles and sharing peach sangria with all of your friends, summer comes to an end.

If I could only slow the season down, maybe let the warmth sink into my autumn air, but it is a feeling not the weather that I dread. I know this is true because when I look outside, it still appears like a hot summers day. There is no snow, the sun soaks our windowsill and rosy cheeks are given to those who step outside. I have no reason to believe autumn is here, except for the name at the top of our calendar.

I have the end of season blues. I have the I wish I did more, I wish I could cut the laces of summer and wear it out a little longer blues. I've been fighting these blues since I was a small girl. I can remember sitting on the wooden fence in our front yard, school was beginning in two weeks time and I was covered in dirt. The rays from a summery sun hit my cheeks in the most peculiar way, it was as if they were robbing a kiss from me or saying goodbye. I began to weep and suddenly felt the kind of dread you feel when you're about to get sick in a car during rush hour traffic. I didn't want summer to end – not then and not now.
As I sit here mourning the end of a season, I tell myself to find something positive for me to lean on, anything to make me feel whole again. I know I could become a slave to my sad mood and never see the beauty in living for today but I wasn't born to be hopeless. I was born to live in winter, in spring, in light and in darkness. I may always crave summer and dream of its arrival, but I am living and breathing in every season, even the ones wherein flowers do not grow. I look outside and the sunset is golden and spirited, the same kind of love poem I saw in the skyline on an August night even though it is September.

Tomorrow I will be ocean bound. My family awaits me on Vancouver Island. How could I sit on top of a wooden fence and cry for the freedom that summer brings when I am ocean bound? Here's to my bountiful love of summer and learning how to plant joy in every other season. I hope your world is bright.

[For detailed descriptions of these photographs, you can find them on my instagram!]

20 comments:

  1. just love these photos! :) I'm also feeling the end of season blues and I agree with you!

    http://behindcatiseyes.blogspot.pt/

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  2. You always take such lovely photos. :)

    catscraftsncritters.blogspot.ca

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  3. Beautiful photographs! Those flowers really make things look more alive and I am so obsessed with your purple backless dress!

    http://shewearsshetravels.blogspot.com/

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  4. These are such lovely snapshots! Has me craving just a bit more Summer :)
    -Heather
    http://ragsroses.blogspot.com/

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  5. So beautiful! I love the photo of you in that purple top :)

    xx Sera | STARDUSTBOHEMIAN.COM
    (IG: @TheStardustBohemian)

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  6. Amazing post! I can totally relate to what you wrote today. I'm feeling pretty much the same and I thought that I was the only "weirdo" :)
    All of the photos are so beautiful too...

    http://lartoffashion.blogspot.com

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  7. this is just AMAZING, dear Amy. such a refreshing beauty. you love for flowers and nature and music and wholesome beauty shines through and is so inspirational to me. your writing is like nothing else i've seen, yet familiar to me somehow. i love your life in photographs posts.
    -Abigail

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  8. There's nothing like a trip to get you out of your blues! Love your photos, they remind me of how beautiful my summer was also.

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  9. These are wonderful, the mountain photo is so pretty I could cry.
    I also fill up with regrets at the end of a lot of milestones. It's because I romanticize things. But I am looking forward to cooler weather!

    Rachel

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  10. Very beautifully written, you have a gift with words.

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  11. Beautiful!!
    I love these
    xo
    www.laurajaneatelier.com

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  12. I always enjoy your colorful photos. And you really have a talent for writing.

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  13. Anonymous18.9.14

    I look forward to your ocean bound photographs xo Smile :) you deserve to feel happy

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  14. I seriously can't get enough of your beautiful flower photos - so so lovely!

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  15. superb! Really nice post sis, excited to see more xx Peach

    http://momomoworld.blogspot.com

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  16. Living and dreaming, I sometimes forget what that feels like.

    /Avy

    http://mymotherfuckedmickjagger.blogspot.com

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  17. I know how you feel, though I usually feel it at the beginning of winter. Summers are hot and very humid where I live. Sometimes it feels like the air is so thick that you can cut it with a knife. Autumn is such a time of relief, relief from the stifling heat. Winter, now winter is a sad time, especially once the holidays are over and the Earth appears dead and bare. In winter I yearn for the newly budding green leaves and the rainbows the flowers make.

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  18. oh my, these look just magical! they give me a 'late summer sun' feeling, very comfy. Oh and btw, I loved your dress with the rabbit in your previous post :) xx

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  19. you're magic girl in a magic world <3
    http://coeursdefoxes.blogspot.com/

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  20. I love your love for florals!!! I suspect we'd be great friends if we were to meet in real life, honest. This is just lovely. You are lovely!
    xo,
    Malia
    littleladychangblog

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